Chapter One
The Road
My story isn't a unique one. It's an age-old one.
My parents split up when I was small. Our home with mom was unstable and often difficult — sometimes we didn't really have a home, and when we did, she was gone working two jobs. My dad would make plans to take us on weekends and then not show up — though I waited faithfully by the window for hours, hoping the next car would be his.
There was one constant in those growing up years: our grandmother and her love for Jesus. She shared that love, and the joy she found in Him with us, and did her best to provide a safe haven, as well as keep us all in church. Then one night during a missions meeting, I confessed all my anger, hurt and bitterness to the Lord — and found forgiveness and peace for my young heart.
It was a beginning. But the road was rough.
As I grew into a teen, I was often on my own and developed a strong self-reliance — often walking several miles to land a job and work it until something better came along.
You could say, my heart was that of a maverick — independent, non-conforming, defiant. I could walk this road myself. I didn't need anyone.
Chapter Two
The Fall
Following graduation from high school, I answered what I believed was a call to preach, and was encouraged into pastoral ministry upon finishing Bible College. Twice I tried to lead. Twice it ended in hurt and what felt like failure.
Angered by church politics and disillusioned by the outcome, I decided I was done. People couldn't be trusted — even in the church.
I must not be cut out for this. I must not be cut out for anything.
That might have been the end of my story — but for God.
By His grace, I enjoyed a peaceful home with a loving wife and children, worked a decent job, attended a small church — lived a quiet life. Life was very good and I was content to let it stay that way.
But deep down, the maverick was on the road again. Going his own way. Watching his back. Guarding his heart. Trusting no one but himself.
It's a lonely road that goes nowhere. Praise God He never lets us stay there.
Chapter Three
The Return
Through others' faithful preaching of His Word and the work of the Holy Spirit, He once again brought my wandering heart home. He renewed a faith I thought was broken. Healed the hurt I'd hidden behind for years. Set me free from the bondage of sinful doubts and fears — and gave me a new song to sing.
He taught me that He is good, even when I don't feel it. That Christ is enough, even when I know I've failed Him.
He showed me that I can be useful to Him, only when I stop leaning on my own understanding and trust Him.
Chapter Four
Out of the Dust
When I reached the end of myself, I found the cross — and the truth that real freedom comes in humble surrender. Not by my will, but by His. Not based on my dreams, but according to His plan. His reality is greater than anything I could ever imagine. Gratitude rises up, and the maverick heart is finally learning to rest in trust.
It's been a long road, and it's not over yet. These songs are born out of the dust of hard travel — the struggles of living life for the Lord in your own strength. But then of being lifted out of that dust and given new hope, new strength, new purpose.
As you listen, I pray that your heart will also be encouraged — to stop following your own understanding, to walk by faith not by sight, stand firm in the Truth and keep your eyes on the victory still to come.
It's the only way out of the dust. The only way to live in — as well as for — Jesus Christ, to the praise of His glory and grace.